Beach Girl 2: Ano kamo? Catch?!! (oomph)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
More Trivia Atbp.
...at mga iba pang trivia...
The “french” in french fries actually describes the way the spuds are sliced, not their country of origin. (ah, ok)
One cup of cooked sweet potatoes provides 30 mg (50,000 IU) of Beta-Carotene (Vitamin A). It would take 23 cups of broccoli to provide the same amount. (ano daw?!)
The dot on top of the letter "i" is called a "tittle." Tittle is Latin for something very small. (ang liit naman ng tittle mo...)
Strawberries have more Vitamin-C compared to oranges. (go baguio!)
Pandan leaves or a Pandan plant is a useful repellant for pests such as cockroaches. Just put the leaves or the plant in a place where cockroaches lurk around. (at pagkatapos gamitin mo sa sinaing!)
In Microsoft Windows operating systems you cannot create a folder named "con" (without the ""). (wow, totoo ah!)
12% of Americans think that Noah's Ark and Joan of Arc are related.
The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called "aglets."
A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
WD-40 literally stands for water displacement 40th attempt. That's the name straight out of the lab book used by the chemist who helped develop WD-40 back in 1953. Norm Larsen, was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion, a task which is done by displacing water. Norm's persistence paid off when he perfected the formula for WD-40 on his 40th try.
A cough releases an explosive charge of air that moves at speeds up to 60 mph.
A fetus acquires fingerprints at the age of three months.
A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.
Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood we have only 206 in our bodies. (plus osteoporosis)
Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.
Most men have erections every hour to hour and a half during sleep. (un, flag ceremony...)
On average, women say 7,000 words per day. Men manage just over 2000. (blah, blah, blah)
Land crabs found in Cuba can run faster than a horse. (matignan nga sa dividendaso)
2 out of 200 people we see each day are ghosts. (puuteek! meh ganon?!)
Bald men actually have a stronger sex drive than their non-balding counterparts. Balding is influenced by high levels of testosterone, which is also responsible for the sex drive. (sex machine na taong roll-on?)
Dogs sweat through their tongue.
The two lines that connect your top lip to the bottom of your nose are known as the philtrum.
Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. (hahaha! 300x)
The “french” in french fries actually describes the way the spuds are sliced, not their country of origin. (ah, ok)
One cup of cooked sweet potatoes provides 30 mg (50,000 IU) of Beta-Carotene (Vitamin A). It would take 23 cups of broccoli to provide the same amount. (ano daw?!)
The dot on top of the letter "i" is called a "tittle." Tittle is Latin for something very small. (ang liit naman ng tittle mo...)
Strawberries have more Vitamin-C compared to oranges. (go baguio!)
Pandan leaves or a Pandan plant is a useful repellant for pests such as cockroaches. Just put the leaves or the plant in a place where cockroaches lurk around. (at pagkatapos gamitin mo sa sinaing!)
In Microsoft Windows operating systems you cannot create a folder named "con" (without the ""). (wow, totoo ah!)
12% of Americans think that Noah's Ark and Joan of Arc are related.
The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called "aglets."
A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
WD-40 literally stands for water displacement 40th attempt. That's the name straight out of the lab book used by the chemist who helped develop WD-40 back in 1953. Norm Larsen, was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion, a task which is done by displacing water. Norm's persistence paid off when he perfected the formula for WD-40 on his 40th try.
A cough releases an explosive charge of air that moves at speeds up to 60 mph.
A fetus acquires fingerprints at the age of three months.
A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.
Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood we have only 206 in our bodies. (plus osteoporosis)
Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.
Most men have erections every hour to hour and a half during sleep. (un, flag ceremony...)
On average, women say 7,000 words per day. Men manage just over 2000. (blah, blah, blah)
Land crabs found in Cuba can run faster than a horse. (matignan nga sa dividendaso)
2 out of 200 people we see each day are ghosts. (puuteek! meh ganon?!)
Bald men actually have a stronger sex drive than their non-balding counterparts. Balding is influenced by high levels of testosterone, which is also responsible for the sex drive. (sex machine na taong roll-on?)
Dogs sweat through their tongue.
The two lines that connect your top lip to the bottom of your nose are known as the philtrum.
Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. (hahaha! 300x)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Surprising Trivia
Mga bagay-bagay na trivia... Pinadala sa email ng pinsan ko sa States... Kuha na ng tissue at baka dumugo ilong nyo...
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery... If you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot... they "Didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it , think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence, the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years, or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When re-opening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, "Saved by the bell" or was considered a "Dead ringer".
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery... If you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot... they "Didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it , think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence, the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years, or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When re-opening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, "Saved by the bell" or was considered a "Dead ringer".
Monday, August 17, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Noypi Jokes: Issue 2
Mabuti pa i-share ko na lang dito ang mga text jokes na nakukuha ko. Minsan walang load ei. At least mas maraming tao maabot nito. Di ba?! (pinilit ma-justify) =)
THE RING
Recently, a man had 2 go 2 da hospital 2 have his wedding ring cut off from his penis bcoz his GF found the ring in his pant's pocket & got so mad, she stuck it on him while he was asleep.
Which is worse?...
1. Having your GF find out that ur married?
2. Explaining 2 ur wife how ur wedding ring got on ur penis?
3. Or finding out ur penis fits through ur ring?
Bulilit! Bulilit!... Ang liit-liit!... Hahaha.
HAYOP GILAGID
Q: Anung hayop ang walang gilagid?
A: EH di ANT!
Q: Bkt?!
A: kc LANG-GUM eh.
MILITARY TIME
Doc: Lola, kelan ho ba kayo last na nakipag-sex?
Lola: Mga 1955.
Doc: Matagal na ho pala ano?
Lola: (tumingin sa relo nya)...
Lola: Di naman! 20:55 pa lang eh.
NAGING ASO
BAKLA at MACHO nagkasabay sa CR...
Bakla: Ang laki naman nyang sayo.
Macho: Wala na tong silbi kasi iniwan na ako ng GF ko.
Macho: Mabuti pa, puputulin ko na lang ito at ipapakain sa aso.
Bakla: Aw, aw , aw! Arf arf!
BOYS OVER FLOWERS
Girl: Bkt niu ba kmi pinagpapalit sa DOTA.
Boy: Eh kc naman, pinagpapalit nyo kami sa Boys Over Flowers! Pakyu Jun Pyo, Pakyu!
Hahaha...
KAHIT WALANG LAMAN
Dati, ang gamot sa sakit na love-nat ay kiss-pirin at yakap-sule.
Ngaun nde na uso yun...
Ano na uso?...
BiogeSEX!!!
Pwedeng gawin kahit walang laman ang tyan. Ingats!
THE RING
Recently, a man had 2 go 2 da hospital 2 have his wedding ring cut off from his penis bcoz his GF found the ring in his pant's pocket & got so mad, she stuck it on him while he was asleep.
Which is worse?...
1. Having your GF find out that ur married?
2. Explaining 2 ur wife how ur wedding ring got on ur penis?
3. Or finding out ur penis fits through ur ring?
Bulilit! Bulilit!... Ang liit-liit!... Hahaha.
HAYOP GILAGID
Q: Anung hayop ang walang gilagid?
A: EH di ANT!
Q: Bkt?!
A: kc LANG-GUM eh.
MILITARY TIME
Doc: Lola, kelan ho ba kayo last na nakipag-sex?
Lola: Mga 1955.
Doc: Matagal na ho pala ano?
Lola: (tumingin sa relo nya)...
Lola: Di naman! 20:55 pa lang eh.
NAGING ASO
BAKLA at MACHO nagkasabay sa CR...
Bakla: Ang laki naman nyang sayo.
Macho: Wala na tong silbi kasi iniwan na ako ng GF ko.
Macho: Mabuti pa, puputulin ko na lang ito at ipapakain sa aso.
Bakla: Aw, aw , aw! Arf arf!
BOYS OVER FLOWERS
Girl: Bkt niu ba kmi pinagpapalit sa DOTA.
Boy: Eh kc naman, pinagpapalit nyo kami sa Boys Over Flowers! Pakyu Jun Pyo, Pakyu!
Hahaha...
KAHIT WALANG LAMAN
Dati, ang gamot sa sakit na love-nat ay kiss-pirin at yakap-sule.
Ngaun nde na uso yun...
Ano na uso?...
BiogeSEX!!!
Pwedeng gawin kahit walang laman ang tyan. Ingats!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
A Lab Story Ng Usong Kanta
One day Lady Gaga met Boy Gagu.
Since then, Boy Gagu was always following Lady Gaga wherever she goes like a PAPARAZZI.
Lady Gaga got mad because of this so she always stares at Boy Gagu with a POKER FACE.
"Why are you always following me?" said Lady Gaga.
"Because I love you." said Boy Gagu.
Lady Gaga said "How can you love me when you are also chasing the WONDER GIRLS?"
Boy Gagu replied "They are only my friends. There is NOBODY, NO-NOBODY BUT YOU!"
Lady Gaga was touched when she heard this and gave Boy Gagu a big hug.
As a symbol of his love, Boy Gagu gave Lady Gaga a PUSSY CAT DOLL.
And they lived happily ever after. JAI HO.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Katangahan Sa Pader
"May tatlong tanga, pang-apat yung nagbasa."
Mga salitang naka-sulat sa isang pader ng ginuguhong building sa Eastwood. Nabasa nyo ba? Ako hinde.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Gusto Mo Po Cake?
I love cakes. Kahit noong bata pa ako. Ewan. Masarap eh. Sa Birthday, sa Pasko, sa Bagong Taon, Valentines Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, o kahit pang meryenda lang, iba ang dating sa akin kapag may cake. Pakiramdam ko laging meron espesyal, di ba?
Ang ayaw ko ay yung binalahurang cake. Yung parang walang kabuhay-buhay. Yung itsurang tinapay lang na nilagayan ng Nestle Cream, whip cream, o icing na mukhang merengue. Yung tuyot o puro tamis lang. Bad yun. Sabihin mo man na maarte ako, eh yun ang dahilan kung bakit hinde ko ma-tripan yung cake na tinitinda sa bakery. Walang basagan ng trip.
Ayaw ko talaga ng binalahurang cake. Kapag bumibili ako ng cake sa mga branded bakeshops katulad ng Red Ribbon o Goldilocks, tinitignan ko kung sino ang mas may malufet na cake offering. Pansin ko na mas angat na ang mga Red Ribbon cakes ngayon kumpara sa Golilocks. Sa Black Forest cake pa lang ng dalawa, mas malinam-nam ang Red Ribbon sa hitsura at sa lasa. Ewan ko ba kung ano na nangyari sa mga cakes ng Goldilocks. Lumaki ako sa Goldilocks pero hindi naman ganun ang mga cake nila noon. Sila pa nga ang 1st choice ng pamilya kapag cake na ang pinag-uusapan eh.
Baking a cake is an art. And we appreciate art, in one way or another, kahit painting pa yan, drowing, o sculpture. Sana naman hinde pa nawawalan ng art ang Goldi.
So, kanino ka?... Red Ribbon o Goldilocks?...
Ako iba ang tanong ko sa isip ko eh... Ano ba sa tagalog ang cake?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Noypi Jokes: Issue 1
SA MENTAL HOSPITAL
(1 baliw nagbubungkal ng lupa para magtanim)
BALIW: Magtatanim akooooo, magtatanim akoooooo. (Clap clap clap)
NURSE: Anong ginagawa mo?
BALIW: Magtatanim baket?
NURSE: Pano ka magtatanim eh wala ka namang mga seeds na itatanim? Baliw ka talaga! Pumasok ka na nga sa loob! Buset.
BALIW: Eh kaw pala sira ulo eh!.. Seedless ito! Seedless! Leche.
----------
ROCK BAND
TELE: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3-in-1 coffee mo at kanina ka pa silip nang silip dyan?
TABIS: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na "Sugarfree."
TELE: Bobo! Banda kaya yun!
----------
SA DELIVERY ROOM
DOC: Kambal anak mo. Sister mo nagbigay ng names.
INA: Naku, eh tanga un Doc. Ano pinangalan sa mga anak ko?
DOC: Sa girl, DENICE.
INA: Aba, ok un ah! Eh dun sa boy?
DOC: DENEPHEW...
INA: Buset!
----------
THE KURIPOT
>> Mrs. Tanoy is a very kuripot woman.
>> When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper asking the price for the obituary.
>> The Ad Taker said: "300 pesos for 5 words."
>> She said: "Pwede ba 2 words lang? "Tanoy dead."
>> Ad Taker: "No ma'am. 5 words is the minimum."
>> After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said to the Ad Taker:
>> Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo, "TANOY DEAD. HONDA FOR SALE. "
----------
UR BOTH
“Am I pretty or ugly?” Tanong ng naglalambing Misis sa kanyang Mister.
“BOTH.” Sagot ng Mister.
“Ano ang ibig mong sabihin na BOTH?”
“Ang ibig kong sabihin, you’re pretty ugly.”
----------
MALE FANTASY OF A FEMALE BY AGE
Age 17 – Tall, Dark and Handsome
Age 25 – Tall, Dark and Handsome with Money
Age 35 – Tall, Dark and Handsome with Money and a Brain
Age 48 – a Man with Hair
Age 66 – a Man
----------
TUNNEL OF LOVE
Magkasintahan nag-uusap habang nakasakay silasa isang tren na naglilibot sa ibat-Ibang States sa Amerika...
LALAKE: “Kung alam ko lang napakahaba noong tunnel na dinaanan nati kanina, eh di sana hinalikan kita.” BABAE (nagtataka): “Ibig mong sabihin hindi ikaw yung kahalikan ko kanina??”
----------
SEA MANLOLOKO
GF: Niloloko mo ako!
BF: Ha? Bakit?
GF: Nakita kita sa SM, may kasamang iba!
BF: Tumigil ka! Di kita niloloko. Yung kasama ko sa SM ang niloloko ko!
GF: Ah, akala ko ako eh. Sori na. Loveyou!
----------
(1 baliw nagbubungkal ng lupa para magtanim)
BALIW: Magtatanim akooooo, magtatanim akoooooo. (Clap clap clap)
NURSE: Anong ginagawa mo?
BALIW: Magtatanim baket?
NURSE: Pano ka magtatanim eh wala ka namang mga seeds na itatanim? Baliw ka talaga! Pumasok ka na nga sa loob! Buset.
BALIW: Eh kaw pala sira ulo eh!.. Seedless ito! Seedless! Leche.
----------
ROCK BAND
TELE: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3-in-1 coffee mo at kanina ka pa silip nang silip dyan?
TABIS: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na "Sugarfree."
TELE: Bobo! Banda kaya yun!
----------
SA DELIVERY ROOM
DOC: Kambal anak mo. Sister mo nagbigay ng names.
INA: Naku, eh tanga un Doc. Ano pinangalan sa mga anak ko?
DOC: Sa girl, DENICE.
INA: Aba, ok un ah! Eh dun sa boy?
DOC: DENEPHEW...
INA: Buset!
----------
THE KURIPOT
>> Mrs. Tanoy is a very kuripot woman.
>> When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper asking the price for the obituary.
>> The Ad Taker said: "300 pesos for 5 words."
>> She said: "Pwede ba 2 words lang? "Tanoy dead."
>> Ad Taker: "No ma'am. 5 words is the minimum."
>> After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said to the Ad Taker:
>> Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo, "TANOY DEAD. HONDA FOR SALE. "
----------
UR BOTH
“Am I pretty or ugly?” Tanong ng naglalambing Misis sa kanyang Mister.
“BOTH.” Sagot ng Mister.
“Ano ang ibig mong sabihin na BOTH?”
“Ang ibig kong sabihin, you’re pretty ugly.”
----------
MALE FANTASY OF A FEMALE BY AGE
Age 17 – Tall, Dark and Handsome
Age 25 – Tall, Dark and Handsome with Money
Age 35 – Tall, Dark and Handsome with Money and a Brain
Age 48 – a Man with Hair
Age 66 – a Man
----------
TUNNEL OF LOVE
Magkasintahan nag-uusap habang nakasakay silasa isang tren na naglilibot sa ibat-Ibang States sa Amerika...
LALAKE: “Kung alam ko lang napakahaba noong tunnel na dinaanan nati kanina, eh di sana hinalikan kita.” BABAE (nagtataka): “Ibig mong sabihin hindi ikaw yung kahalikan ko kanina??”
----------
SEA MANLOLOKO
GF: Niloloko mo ako!
BF: Ha? Bakit?
GF: Nakita kita sa SM, may kasamang iba!
BF: Tumigil ka! Di kita niloloko. Yung kasama ko sa SM ang niloloko ko!
GF: Ah, akala ko ako eh. Sori na. Loveyou!
----------
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Opis Windang
(emailed from a friend)
ANO KAYA KUNG...
Ang lobby guard niyo ay si Palito alias Rambuto.
Ang time administrator niyo ay si Cherie Gil at ang morning greeting niya with a smile ay..."Welcome to hell..."
Ang HR head niyo ay si Bella Flores at ang Employee Relations Officer ay si Odette Khan at ang HR Staffing head ay si Dexter Doria... At pag pumasok ka na walang ID o hindi naka-uniform... kakaladkarin ka nila sa buhok palabas ng opisina pagkatapos kang pagsasampalin.
Ang Employee Benefits head ay si Lolit Solis...Cge... magreklamo ka na maliit ang sweldo mo... Cgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... I dare you!!!!
Tuwing may problema ang kompanya, ang Corporate Communications head niyo na si Cristy Fermin ang nagbibigay ng official company statement... At ang simula nang kanyang presscon ay... "Galing ito sa isang reliable source at itataya ko ang buhay at karangalan ko dito... Wala akong libel case na inuurungan..."
Ang official company driver niyo ay si Vandolph. Do I have to explain?
Kapag kasama mo mag-OT si German Moreno... Walang tulugan!
Ang Legal Investigator niyo ay si Tony Falcon at ang assistant niya ay si Wengweng... Paminsan minsan ay tumutulong si Ricky Lo at Madam Auring bilang consultant.
Tuwing bubuksan mo ang filing cabinet andun si Mahal sa loob para iabot ang file na hinahanap mo.
Messenger niyo si Kuya Cesar.
Si Boy Abunda ang career counselor mo at tuwing me problema ka ang tanong niya ay... "Mag-usap tayo kaibigan... Kung nasa harap ka ng salamin ano ang sasabihin mo sa iyong sarili?"
Si Love Añover ang voice behind your automated phone system. "Mga katsokaran... ip you chuva da number
eklavu... dependots 1... ips not... luz valdez... charing!"
Ang Office Security niyo ay binubuo ng Tulfo Brothers... Bigla silang darating sa opisina mo at sasabihin "Hephephep... Nag-uuwi ka ng bond paper... Tarantadong to ah... Manggagantsong butete ka!!!" At pag tumanggi ka... Ipapanood nila sa yo ang hidden camera shots na nagpupuslit ka ng 2 pirasong bond paper mula sa printer... Habang pinoposasan ka ng mga pulis.
Tuwing pasko ang prize committee head ay si Bernadette Sembrano at Vicky Morales. Taun-taon din ay nanalo ko ng banana-cue at pedicab showcase. At nangangarap ka na sana next time si Willie naman para me jeepney.
Si Michael Fajatin ang laging nagpe-present ng annual report niyo..."Mga Igan... Nung umabot sa PhP50M ang
ating kinita... Kumita tayo ng PhP50M... Matapos nating magtrabaho ng matindi kumita tayo ng PhP50M pero bago yan ay nagtrabaho muna tayo saka tayo kumita ng PhP50M."
Boss mo si Big Brother... At alam niya na lampas 15 minutes ka nag-coffee break kaya kailangan mo mag-type nang gamit ang ilong mo hanggang patawarin ka niya.
Kaopisina mo si Arnold Clavio at pag naka-leave siya... OIC niya si Arn-Arn.
At ang number 1 sign na you're in Opis Windang... Department Head mo si Mike Enriquez... AT HINDI NIYA KAYO TATANTANAN!!!!
ANO KAYA KUNG...
Ang lobby guard niyo ay si Palito alias Rambuto.
Ang time administrator niyo ay si Cherie Gil at ang morning greeting niya with a smile ay..."Welcome to hell..."
Ang HR head niyo ay si Bella Flores at ang Employee Relations Officer ay si Odette Khan at ang HR Staffing head ay si Dexter Doria... At pag pumasok ka na walang ID o hindi naka-uniform... kakaladkarin ka nila sa buhok palabas ng opisina pagkatapos kang pagsasampalin.
Ang Employee Benefits head ay si Lolit Solis...Cge... magreklamo ka na maliit ang sweldo mo... Cgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... I dare you!!!!
Tuwing may problema ang kompanya, ang Corporate Communications head niyo na si Cristy Fermin ang nagbibigay ng official company statement... At ang simula nang kanyang presscon ay... "Galing ito sa isang reliable source at itataya ko ang buhay at karangalan ko dito... Wala akong libel case na inuurungan..."
Ang official company driver niyo ay si Vandolph. Do I have to explain?
Kapag kasama mo mag-OT si German Moreno... Walang tulugan!
Ang Legal Investigator niyo ay si Tony Falcon at ang assistant niya ay si Wengweng... Paminsan minsan ay tumutulong si Ricky Lo at Madam Auring bilang consultant.
Tuwing bubuksan mo ang filing cabinet andun si Mahal sa loob para iabot ang file na hinahanap mo.
Messenger niyo si Kuya Cesar.
Si Boy Abunda ang career counselor mo at tuwing me problema ka ang tanong niya ay... "Mag-usap tayo kaibigan... Kung nasa harap ka ng salamin ano ang sasabihin mo sa iyong sarili?"
Si Love Añover ang voice behind your automated phone system. "Mga katsokaran... ip you chuva da number
eklavu... dependots 1... ips not... luz valdez... charing!"
Ang Office Security niyo ay binubuo ng Tulfo Brothers... Bigla silang darating sa opisina mo at sasabihin "Hephephep... Nag-uuwi ka ng bond paper... Tarantadong to ah... Manggagantsong butete ka!!!" At pag tumanggi ka... Ipapanood nila sa yo ang hidden camera shots na nagpupuslit ka ng 2 pirasong bond paper mula sa printer... Habang pinoposasan ka ng mga pulis.
Tuwing pasko ang prize committee head ay si Bernadette Sembrano at Vicky Morales. Taun-taon din ay nanalo ko ng banana-cue at pedicab showcase. At nangangarap ka na sana next time si Willie naman para me jeepney.
Si Michael Fajatin ang laging nagpe-present ng annual report niyo..."Mga Igan... Nung umabot sa PhP50M ang
ating kinita... Kumita tayo ng PhP50M... Matapos nating magtrabaho ng matindi kumita tayo ng PhP50M pero bago yan ay nagtrabaho muna tayo saka tayo kumita ng PhP50M."
Boss mo si Big Brother... At alam niya na lampas 15 minutes ka nag-coffee break kaya kailangan mo mag-type nang gamit ang ilong mo hanggang patawarin ka niya.
Kaopisina mo si Arnold Clavio at pag naka-leave siya... OIC niya si Arn-Arn.
At ang number 1 sign na you're in Opis Windang... Department Head mo si Mike Enriquez... AT HINDI NIYA KAYO TATANTANAN!!!!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
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